How to Avoid Giving Kids a Phone at Restaurants
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Going out is good for children. It provides them with opportunities to code switch, to learn how tobein a variety of novel social situations. Yet the picture we paint in our head about an outing is usually quite different from the reality: feverishly scanning the menu while your kid dumps a drink in their lap, falls off a chair, or asks the server if they’re having a baby. (True story, and, no, she wasn’t.)
I’m an early childhood literacy and learning specialist. I’ve been taking my children, now ages 3 and 6, to restaurants and museums since they were newborns. While challenging, the more practice and exposure they get to new places, new foods, new cultures, the more prepared they’ll be for the next adventure. A screen can help ease the pain when a child is having a tantrum or howling that they’re bored, but it also disconnects them from their environment and zaps the possibility for valuable learning opportunities. The easiest answer may be a screen, but thebetteranswer is: Come prepared.
Planning ahead by bringing table-friendly art supplies, toys, books, and games will help keep little hands busy and extend your meal or excursion. The goal is not to tune out your children or let them tune you out — and where you draw that line is a personal decision. There’s no screenless item that will “babysit” your young child, and that’s a good thing. I’m okay with my older child checking out to doodle, read, or play a game, but, for me, anything involving headphones (even her belovedYoto player) is a hair too far for a family meal. It’s important to show children what it looks like to interact with new people in new places.
Here’s everything I keep in my bag to make sure I don’t cave to tablet temptation when we travel, whether it’s to the restaurant down the street or to a museum in a new city.
For the baby
If you have a baby and it’s your first or only child, go out as often as you can! This brief phase is prime time for enjoying a meal or a drink. Once they start walking and talking — and you can’t “wear them” while they nap — they’ll need a lot more “entertainment.” You don’t need much beyond acarrierfor an infant, but simple interactive toys and a teether (or two, since one will inevitably hit the ground) can help.
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For toddlers and older kids
It always helps to unveil new goodiesafteryou’ve reached your destination for maximum engagement and payoff.
Art supplies and stickers
Start with a handful ofinexpensive mesh bagsto hold different kinds ofart supplies.
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I also like to have a variety of lightweight sketchpads on hand. If your child is at writing age, lined notebooks are also great. For my older child who likes to write, I sometimes task her with “special assignments,” like writing a restaurant review.
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Ikea Måla felt-tip pen, mixed colors
Markers are the easiest tool to have around. I buy a lot of theIkea setsbecause they’re inexpensive and the color selection is varied.
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Colored pencils are easy to throw in, too, but don’t forget asharpener.
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Or, if you lean more minimal, there’s always the travel-size Etch A Sketch.
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Clara Campoli, a preschool director in Brooklyn, introduced me to these colorful and versatile sticker labels, which can also be written and drawn on.
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Reusable stickers come in many different themes and provide fine motor development as children take them on and off.
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Usborne makes engaging, paper-doll-esque sticker books.
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Magnetic play sets
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Magnetic paper dolls make pretend play easy to achieve in any setting.
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A set of travel-friendly Magna-Tiles is very handy to have, too. On a recent trip, my children enjoyed building mini-houses for theirtiny animalsat the airport, at our hotel, and in restaurants.
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Magnetic tangram is an excellent game for building visual-spatial skills and geometry concepts.
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Mix or Match setsare small, easy to take apart and put together, and come in many different designs (aircrafts,trucks,animals,dinosaurs).
Books and magazines
Never leave home without books! Choose ones you don’t mind reading several times, because you will.
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For my 6-year-old, I pack a book that she can read. Right now, she’s intoUpside-Down Magic, the latestFirst Cat in Space, a newer series calledSquirlishabout a girl raised by squirrels in Central Park, and theLowis Lowry booksthat I loved as a kid. But any book will do if it’s one they want to read.
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For my 3-year-old, we always bring a fewsuper-engaging paperback children’s books, likeWhat Pete Ate from A–ZandDu Iz Tak?
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When both children are enjoying a chapter book together, things get really good. We read Steig, Dahl, even Julie Andrews out loud (yes,she can singandwrite). Choose a book to read aloud over a glass of wine.
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We sometimes have luck withactivity books. When choosing them, I tend to stay away from ones that veer into advanced or academic territory — those need more oversight, and I aim to keep things relaxed and low pressure so that we all associate going out with having fun, not productivity.
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For older children who like puzzles,sudoku,I Can KenKen, andcrosswordsare great to have on hand. They may require some help but are usually pleasant to conquer together.
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For younger children, there’s always theHighlightsmagazineHidden Picturesof our youth. And on that note, there are manyexcellent children’s magazinesthat you can bring along, too.
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And don’t forget aboutWhere’s Waldoor other search-and-find books like theclassicI Spyseries.
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Even without a specific “find it” task, the world ofRichard Scarry’s Busytown— or any otherbook with lots of detail to study— can scratch a similar itch, because there is so much to see.
Games and puzzles
There are many excellent card games for children; most of them are best for 4 and 5 years old and up. Many will require some family participation, but playing a card game at a restaurant while you wait for your meal is a time to connect while also developing language, fine motor, and visual perceptual skills. Here are a few of my favorites to have on hand, or a simple deck of cards also has many possibilities.
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My children really enjoyCreate a Story cards, which provide visual prompts that encourage kids to make up their own tales. They work for a variety of ages, can be played in multiple ways, and are excellent for developing language skills.
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Mini-puzzles are another fun item to tuck into your bag, as long you’re organized enough to keep all the pieces together.
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Mudpuppy’s 12-piece Pouch Puzzles come in lots of designs and have their their own carrying case.
Sometimes outings go well. Sometimes they’re a flop despite our best preparations and intentions. Remind yourself in the moment that practice makes progress. Keep expectations low, and aim for a solid 15 minutes of peace and delight before that glass of milk goes flying.
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