My body has always been particularly good at throwing me curveballs. I grew a foot taller than my peers in the fourth grade. Body hair arrived mortifyingly early, as did acne — years before my friends even thought about getting their first period. So when I suddenly started getting acne on my butt in my early 20s, I wasn’t exactly shocked — I’d become basically inured to intrusive bodily change by the time I turned 12. Still: I wasn’t exactly thrilled. The buttne, as I took to calling it, was pervasive, and didn’t seem to go away no matter how hard I prayed or how many scrubs and exfoliants and even spot treatments I applied to it.
That none of the products I tried didn’t work didn’t exactly shock me, either. My body has a lovely tendency to not only reject what many claim to be miracle solutions, but to come out in full protest against them. Popular, supposedly skin-saving masks generally turn me into an itchy, skin-shedding mess. One beloved clarifying serum made my face quite literally pool with oil. This has made me very cynical when it comes to products that promise to change your life.
So when I first spotted Anese’s That Booty Tho on an Instagram ad, I was naturally skeptical. A scrub with a cutesy name that promised to, using a “mix of oils, extracts, antioxidants and essential fatty acids,” get rid of my acne, cellulite, and stretch marks, seemed a bit too good to be true. When it arrived, my expectations lowered further: The scrub was grainy and brown and smelled a bit like drying paint.
Still, I tried it out. Before my shower, I scooped out a dime-size amount of the product, rubbed it into my hands until the consistency was creamy, then lathered it onto my bum for roughly 30 seconds. After I washed it off, I touched my butt, and was surprised to find that it felt silky soft. The red bumps were still there, but I didn’t care — I had never felt such smooth skin in my life. I continued using it, and after three days, my splotchy back side had transformed entirely: It was less red, there were fewer bumps, and it was as soft as a newborn baby. I left my shower feeling like Bella Hadid. Now I use the product every single time I shower. I’ve even ventured into using it on my hips and bikini line, because it really does help minimize the appearance of stretch marks (cellulite, I’m not so sure about).
“A $30 scrub just for your butt?” you are probably now saying to yourself. Yes. It sounds outrageous, and it is. But you know what else is outrageous? Buttne. And when the only thing holding you back from a butt you’re comfortable showing off is a constellation of lumpy, red, zitty spots, That Booty Tho is worth it and then some.
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