While Mother’s Day might look different than usual this year for people who are quarantining at their childhood home, or for those who are coordinating a Zoom brunch in lieu of a restaurant reservation, for families with two mothers the holiday always poses a question of how to celebrate. “Not all two-mom families celebrate both moms on Mother’s Day, some do, others decide that they want each mom to have her own day,” says Dana Rudolph, the founder of LGBTQ parenting site Mombian. She encourages new parents to check in with each other about how they want to celebrate the holiday, and also suggests that family and friends touch base with the moms before gifting “in order to know how they celebrate and honor their choices in that regard.”
Along with Rudolph, we also spoke to a handful of two-mom families about the best gifts that celebrate their partnership and family structure this Mother’s — or Mothers’ — Day, including items from queer-owned businesses and some couples gifts (that they’ll both enjoy).
For the new moms
For new mothers, Rudolph recommends gifting a gender-neutral fill-in-the-blank book that leaves spaces for “‘parent’ and ‘parent,’ or specific spots where you could write in ‘mommy’ and ‘mama.’ It’s much more welcoming and inclusive to have something like that,” she says. In addition to Etsy sites that make two-mom baby books, this photo journal from Artifact Uprising uses gender-neutral language to fit many family structures.
For the moms with young children
Similarly, Katie and Christina Bailey, co-owners of LGBTQ-inclusive apparel shop Bold Look Apparel, enjoy reading board books with their two young daughters that “represent our family structure.” The Baileys’ favorite title, Mommy, Mama, and Me, also has a two-dad counterpart.
For the moms with thousands of pictures on their phones
In general, Rudolph recommends gifting two-mom families items that “honor their family and parental status,” and she says that a framed family photo is a good place to start. Since you can’t stop by the store to get a picture framed, might we suggest Framebridge, our overall best pick among seven different online framing sites?
For the moms who hang cards on their fridge
The Baileys were pleased to learn that Hallmark has an LGBTQ Mother’s Day card section. “It was nice seeing cards that can come from both of our daughters to both of us,” says Christina. While the card that the couple received is currently out of stock, this is a nice in-stock option for a two-mom family that likes a little bit of glitter.
For the moms who hang handmade cards on their fridge
For the moms with gender-neutral style
Rudolph notes that some moms might enjoy clothing from a gender-neutral company, if that “fits their gender identity, expression, and style.” Some Strategist-favorite brands include the queer-owned, feminist clothing and lifestyle small business Wildfang and the queer-person-of-color-owned, gender-free clothing company Stuzo — which is also conveniently making still-in-stock fabric face masks.
For the consumer-conscious moms
“We try to support queer-owned businesses, and businesses who support the LGBTQ community not just in Pride month, but year-round,” says Kirsten Ott Palladino, editorial director and co-founder of Equally Wed, pointing to the queer-owned fine-jewelry studio D. Muscio as a place she likes for jewelry. If you’re shopping for a mom who’s finished her quarantine reading list, consider getting her a new title from the collectively owned radical-feminist bookstore Bluestockings, or if the mom in question would rather curl up in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn, give her a turmeric popcorn kit from the ethically sourced, queer-woman-of-color-owned spice company, Diaspora Co. When it comes to shopping at larger companies, a couple of people we spoke to mentioned that you can check the Human Rights Campaign’s Equality Index to see if a company’s workplace is inclusive before buying from them.
For the moms who relax together
Although Katie and Christina Bailey don’t share all of the same interests, they like to relax together with a couples massage. “Obviously life is pretty busy as moms, so it’s nice to be able to get away and do something relaxing that we both enjoy,” says Katie, who recommends gifting a gift card to a company that has many locations, like Elements Massage.
For the moms who want to get away together
A couple of people mentioned that giving both moms a night or weekend away together — once hotels open post-coronavirus — is another gift they might both appreciate. Palladino recommends gifting a stay at an LGBTQ-supportive hotel, like Kimpton. “It can be really scary to put your safety in the hands of a place and not know how you’re going to be treated, or if you’ll have to justify sharing a bed at check-in,” says Palladino, adding that Kimpton states its commitment to the LGBTQ community on its website and is committed to treating same-sex couples with respect.
For the moms who do good (and want a gift that does, too)
“Some LGBTQ moms want to celebrate Mother’s Day as a special and distinctive expression of the effort they’ve put into their family formation, and a donation to an LGBTQ advocacy organization — or another charity that they support — is one way to honor their process of family-making,” says Rudolph, naming Family Equality, Lambda Legal, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights as some organizations that she supports.
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