Prime Day’s Almost Over, Just Get the Weird Thing
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Prime Dayis here, and we’re updating this story hourly. To find the best deals in every category, follow all ofour Prime Day coverage.
It’s the first-ever fourth — andfinal— day of this year’s four-dayPrime Day. You might’ve already checked off part of your grocery list (Windex wipes,Crest whitening strips,Blueland dishwasher detergent). Or you could’ve finally splurged on the countertop appliance you’ve always wanted (aVitamix blender,Breville espresso machine, or theNinja Creami). But Prime Day is nothing if not an excuse to search theannals of Amazonfor the miscellaneous items that are not only available at the megaretailer (did you know you could get a medieval king-size portion of pheasant there?), buton sale. Under thePrime Day dealsearch bar is much of the stuff you’d only see on infomercials at 3 a.m. — some of which we’ve written about! Some markdowns are just plain wacky, while other markdowns are endearingly tacky. Maybe your nextgag gift’s here. To help, I searched for all kinds of weird things on sale for Prime Day, from regulation pickleballs to horse-shark hybrid figurines. For even better deals, check out our list of thebest Prime Day deals, according to our writers. And for the first time this year, our editors arelivebloggingPrime Day in all its glory.
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It’s not asex toy, surprisingly. “It’s meant to combat tech neck, but at this point I use for pure vanity,” says comedy writerCaroline Goldfarb. Every time Goldfarb lies on it, her neck resembles that of a Truman Capote Swan, as if she received “a controversial neck-lengthening procedure in another country.”
Read more:Everything Hurts, But My Arsenal of Home Stretching Gear Helps
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Be the “person with the pink tree,” as novelistIvy Pochodais. Onlookers sneak a peek of thisveryobviouslyartificial Christmas treefrom outside her window. It “fills the living room with shiny pink delight,” she says.
Read more:What Took Me So Long to Get a Fake Pink Christmas Tree?
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After some extra-strength Excedrin, try the affectionately named Eggplant, as our contributorAriel Kantercalls it: “You’ll immediately feel some gentle compression that takes the pressure off pounding temples.”
Read more:No Migraine Remedy Beats My Freezable Hat (That Looks Like an Eggplant)
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It’s thecatchphrasethe socialite sued Hallmark over. If there were ever a time to say the trademarked remark, it’s in the middle of cooking.
Read more:What Paris Hilton Can’t Live Without
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BetweenTrainline itinerariesand aBarilla pasta line, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham also madehot sauce: a “Sweet Jalapeño” (with brown sugar, vinegar, lime, andsel gris)and “Hot Habanero” (which is much spicier by Scoville-scale standards).
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Sure, use theSwiffer, but better yet might be a duster seemingly right out of aLeft Bankdroguerie.
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This garlic-mincing unicycle will keep you from looking like “a toddler hacking away on a fakecutting board.”
Read more:This Gadget Lets Me Mince Garlic With Reckless Abandon
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After ourAmelia Jerdenposted several pasta-related products in the Strategist-staffer Slack channel, these farfalloni-shaped pot holders ended up in her metaphorical Secret Santa stocking (courtesy of managing editorKelsie Schrader) last Christmas.
Read more:A Peek Inside the Strategist’s Annual Secret Santa Exchange
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Hyseas Stump Throw Pillow
Anemotional-support log, in the spirit ofTwin Peaks’s Log Lady.
Read more:What Kyle MacLachlan Can’t Live Without
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This possum in his peanut car inspires the same maternal instincts in me as a hamster on a wheel or a goldfish in a plastic bag.
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Let it be mistaken for a real fruit spread at your next dinner party.
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Our writer Dominique Pariso wore these Coddies to theConey Island Mermaid Parade, and they “were actually quite easy to walk in.”
Read more:The Strategist Haul: What the Editors Bought in June
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Qanqiuple Cow Print Bucket Hat with Horn Ears
Well, this isudderlydelightful. (Don’t throw tomatoes at me through your computer screen, please.)
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Half aGuy FieriHalloween costume.
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Mark your calendars: TheMetropolitan Opera seasonreturns September 21. Thank you,Bertha Russell.
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Someone tellLinda Rodinher Welly bandages are also available with color-changing chameleons (unlike the planetary patterns she usually picks up that don’t glow in the dark).
Read more:Linda Rodin Can’t Stop Buying Bandages
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A science-class laboratory’s worth of slime and putties (including a so-called “snotty” variety), sanctioned by National Geographic.
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Not even the Oracle of Delphi could’ve predicted a future horse-shark hybrid.
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Sorry,Club Leftist Tennis: Theofficial ball of USA Pickleball(at least, a 12-count version) is on sale, while the similarfour-pack can of Wilsonsisn’t.
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Make your too-tight heels fit like Cinderella’s slippers with professional-grade Shoe Stretch. Be sure to “spray heavily” over the interior of a pair you’re stretching before putting them on your feet, per instructions.
Read more:The Spray That Stretched My Too Small Stilettos Half a Size
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These are rendered inprosciutto marble(as seen on the countertops at Quarters), which has “the bright red of a high-nitrate pork product, flecked with white like the beads of fat in a well-mixed salami,” says ourErin Schwartz.
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Stick some googly eyes (there’s 1,000 of them) oneverything, everywhere.
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Begone, torn lobes.
Read more:I Can Finally Wear Dangly Earrings Again Because of These Clear Stickers
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To celebrate the release of George R.R. Martin’sWinds of Winter(the alleged penultimate book in theSong of Ice and Fireseries after 2011’sA Dance With Dragons), or your next birthday, whichever comes first.
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If afive-pound gummy bearcomes out to about the equivalent of 1,400regular-size gummy bears, then five pounds of Sour Patch Kids equals …?
More Prime Day Deals
- 50 Pairs of Comfy Shoes on Sale This Month From Camper, Hoka, and More
- Just 45 Pairs of Comfy, On-Sale Shoes From Rothy’s, Keen, and More
- This May Be Your Last Chance to Get OG Everlane on Sale
- I Found $16 Old Navy Bikinis and $25 Aerie One-Pieces
The Strategistis designed to surface useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Every product is independently selected by our team of editors, whom you can read abouthere. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.
