Prime Day’s Almost Over, Just Get the Weird Thing
Prime Day is here, and we’re updating this story hourly. To find the best deals in every category, follow all of our Prime Day coverage.
It’s the first-ever fourth — and final — day of this year’s four-day Prime Day. You might’ve already checked off part of your grocery list (Windex wipes, Crest whitening strips, Blueland dishwasher detergent). Or you could’ve finally splurged on the countertop appliance you’ve always wanted (a Vitamix blender, Breville espresso machine, or the Ninja Creami). But Prime Day is nothing if not an excuse to search the annals of Amazon for the miscellaneous items that are not only available at the megaretailer (did you know you could get a medieval king-size portion of pheasant there?), but on sale. Under the Prime Day deal search bar is much of the stuff you’d only see on infomercials at 3 a.m. — some of which we’ve written about! Some markdowns are just plain wacky, while other markdowns are endearingly tacky. Maybe your next gag gift’s here. To help, I searched for all kinds of weird things on sale for Prime Day, from regulation pickleballs to horse-shark hybrid figurines. For even better deals, check out our list of the best Prime Day deals, according to our writers. And for the first time this year, our editors are liveblogging Prime Day in all its glory.
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It’s not a sex toy, surprisingly. “It’s meant to combat tech neck, but at this point I use for pure vanity,” says comedy writer Caroline Goldfarb. Every time Goldfarb lies on it, her neck resembles that of a Truman Capote Swan, as if she received “a controversial neck-lengthening procedure in another country.”
Read more: Everything Hurts, But My Arsenal of Home Stretching Gear Helps
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Be the “person with the pink tree,” as novelist Ivy Pochoda is. Onlookers sneak a peek of this very obviously artificial Christmas tree from outside her window. It “fills the living room with shiny pink delight,” she says.
Read more: What Took Me So Long to Get a Fake Pink Christmas Tree?
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After some extra-strength Excedrin, try the affectionately named Eggplant, as our contributor Ariel Kanter calls it: “You’ll immediately feel some gentle compression that takes the pressure off pounding temples.”
Read more:No Migraine Remedy Beats My Freezable Hat (That Looks Like an Eggplant)
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It’s the catchphrase the socialite sued Hallmark over. If there were ever a time to say the trademarked remark, it’s in the middle of cooking.
Read more: What Paris Hilton Can’t Live Without
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Between Trainline itineraries and a Barilla pasta line, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham also made hot sauce: a “Sweet Jalapeño” (with brown sugar, vinegar, lime, and sel gris) and “Hot Habanero” (which is much spicier by Scoville-scale standards).
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Sure, use the Swiffer, but better yet might be a duster seemingly right out of a Left Bank droguerie.
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This garlic-mincing unicycle will keep you from looking like “a toddler hacking away on a fake cutting board.”
Read more: This Gadget Lets Me Mince Garlic With Reckless Abandon
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After our Amelia Jerden posted several pasta-related products in the Strategist-staffer Slack channel, these farfalloni-shaped pot holders ended up in her metaphorical Secret Santa stocking (courtesy of managing editor Kelsie Schrader) last Christmas.
Read more: A Peek Inside the Strategist’s Annual Secret Santa Exchange
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An emotional-support log, in the spirit of Twin Peaks’s Log Lady.
Read more:What Kyle MacLachlan Can’t Live Without
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It’s like Homer Simpson’s Maggie-covered posterboard for us singles.
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This possum in his peanut car inspires the same maternal instincts in me as a hamster on a wheel or a goldfish in a plastic bag.
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Ikosora 20 Pcs Fake Fruit Pack
Let it be mistaken for a real fruit spread at your next dinner party.
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Our writer Dominique Pariso wore these Coddies to the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, and they “were actually quite easy to walk in.”
Read more: The Strategist Haul: What the Editors Bought in June
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Qanqiuple Cow Print Bucket Hat with Horn Ears
Well, this is udderly delightful. (Don’t throw tomatoes at me through your computer screen, please.)
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Half a Guy Fieri Halloween costume.
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Mark your calendars: The Metropolitan Opera season returns September 21. Thank you, Bertha Russell.
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Someone tell Linda Rodin her Welly bandages are also available with color-changing chameleons (unlike the planetary patterns she usually picks up that don’t glow in the dark).
Read more:Linda Rodin Can’t Stop Buying Bandages
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A science-class laboratory’s worth of slime and putties (including a so-called “snotty” variety), sanctioned by National Geographic.
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Not even the Oracle of Delphi could’ve predicted a future horse-shark hybrid.
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Sorry, Club Leftist Tennis: The official ball of USA Pickleball (at least, a 12-count version) is on sale, while the similar four-pack can of Wilsons isn’t.
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Make your too-tight heels fit like Cinderella’s slippers with professional-grade Shoe Stretch. Be sure to “spray heavily” over the interior of a pair you’re stretching before putting them on your feet, per instructions.
Read more:The Spray That Stretched My Too Small Stilettos Half a Size
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These are rendered in prosciutto marble (as seen on the countertops at Quarters), which has “the bright red of a high-nitrate pork product, flecked with white like the beads of fat in a well-mixed salami,” says our Erin Schwartz.
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Stick some googly eyes (there’s 1,000 of them) on everything, everywhere.
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Begone, torn lobes.
Read more:I Can Finally Wear Dangly Earrings Again Because of These Clear Stickers
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To celebrate the release of George R.R. Martin’s Winds of Winter (the alleged penultimate book in the Song of Ice and Fire series after 2011’s A Dance With Dragons), or your next birthday, whichever comes first.
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If a five-pound gummy bear comes out to about the equivalent of 1,400 regular-size gummy bears, then five pounds of Sour Patch Kids equals …?
More Prime Day Deals
- There Are (Still) Some Really Good LEGO Deals
- Don’t Wait, the 83 Best Prime Day Toy Deals End Tonight
- 120 Prime Day Deals on Strategist-Approved Things End Tonight
- 19 of Our Favorite Vacuums Are on Sale for October Prime Day
The Strategist is designed to surface useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Every product is independently selected by our team of editors, whom you can read about here. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.
