things we don't talk about

The Best Sex Toys for Men, According to Experts

It’s time to get familiar with the “P-spot” Photo: Courtesy of New Line Cinema

The first thing to know about sex toys for men is that, yes, they exist. “A lot of people are surprised that there can be products for men,” says Andy Duran, educational outreach coordinator at sex-toy retailer Good Vibrations. People often think vibrators, for instance, are “very gendered and designed for women, but the reality is that our bodies are all pretty similar. We all have nerve endings that respond to vibration, or touch, or stimulation.” Although sexuality is highly personal, we set out to find a variety of options for a variety of preferences with the guidance of experts who would know best. We talked to 13 different people, including sex-shop owners and employees, sex educators, sex therapists, sex coaches, and sex podcasters to find the best sex toys for men. Since the experts say you’ll want a different type of toy depending on the type of pleasure and play you’re seeking, we’ve broken them into categories, with the most recommended toys at the top of each.

Best overall ring

If you’re thinking you want to try out a toy but don’t know exactly where to start, most of the experts we spoke with said a “ring” toy would be a great choice, and Zachary Zane, a sex writer for Men’s Health, says, “My advice would be to definitely start with a vibrating cock ring.” In his opinion, the vibrations can add a lot to the overall experience, especially when you’re with a partner. As he puts it, “No matter how good you are at sex with your partner, you can’t vibrate.” Duran also likes vibrating rings because they’re “like two toys in one.” While the wearer gets the benefits of blood-flow restriction, “your partner will feel that vibration on their body during intercourse,” adding that “even if it doesn’t work out as a vibrating ring, you still have this great vibrator or this great ring you can use separately.”

Two experts we spoke to say this cock ring from Je Joue is the best in its class for both comfort and power. “The Mio is top of my list when it comes to vibrating cock rings,” says Lisa Finn, a brand manager and sex educator at Babeland. “The motor is powerful despite the ring not being bulky, and it has a rumbly sensation that delivers deep, penetrating vibration for both partners to enjoy.” Sid Azmi, a sexual therapist and the owner of Please in Brooklyn, agrees, noting that the type of vibration is critical when it comes to higher-tech rings like this one. “Some products have a loud rumble, and some have a tight rumble, with shorter frequencies and more of a ‘buzzing’ sensation,” and for a cock ring, Azmi says that a tight rumble is crucial. “Due to its location near the ballsack, loud vibrations can create pain in a lot of males who aren’t careful.” Finn adds that this ring is “made of a super stretchy yet durable silicone, which gives a comfortable fit on a variety of sizes,” another point echoed by Azmi. “Some cock rings are so tiny and tight, it’s like wrapping a thin piece of rubber around your finger. The Mio is superior to the competition from that perspective.”

More expert-recommended rings

Sometimes you just want something simple. For those times, you can’t go wrong with this minimalist silicone ring. Finn suggests using it “to enhance masturbation or partner play, or to prolong playtime before orgasm.” You can also use it “as a bumper to prevent too-deep thrusting during intercourse,” she says.

Samantha Bard, co-owner of the Williamsburg sex shop and event space Shag, particularly likes the We-Vibe Pivot, which she calls “the Cadillac of cock rings.” You can control the vibration on the actual toy if you want, but the best part of the Pivot, according to her, is the included smartphone app. “You can share it with up to ten people, and they can control it from anywhere in the world and fully customize the vibration patterns.” The ability to control the Pivot from across the dinner table is part of what makes it “really popular,” she says. Plus, Bard adds that “it’s [even more discreet] than having a remote in your pocket,” because it just looks like you’re on your phone.

For a simpler, more affordable vibrating ring, Duran recommends this option from Screaming O. Simply stretch it around the base of your erect penis, and switch it on. While it’s only designed for one-time use, and doesn’t have the cross-platform connectivity of the others, it’s still an effective, discreet, and travel-friendly option for first-timers.

Dr. Steven Snyder, a New York City sex therapist and author, says the “really hot thing” among his patients right now is this stretchy ring, which he describes as less of a toy and more of a practical solution when you or your partner’s size is causing pain. “It’s a series of very soft flexible rings that nest on top of each other, which means you can use between one and four of them depending on your size. They give a different sensation for penetration and are excellent if a man is going in too deeply.”

For sexually adventurous guys looking for a more advanced ring, Azmi recommends this stretchy “sling,” which combines a cock ring with an additional “ball-stretching” ring. The constricting sensation it delivers around the top of the testicles, according to Azmi, is “a pleasurable feeling for men who are open to it” because it heightens one of the body’s natural responses to being aroused. “If you watch a man’s anatomy when he’s getting turned on, you can see the balls tense up. This relatively inexpensive product heightens that tension.”

Best overall stroker

Tenga Egg

“Strokers” were another popular recommendation for those buying starter sex toys. They’re generally designed for masturbation, and the low-priced, simple, and straightforward Tenga Egg was a model mentioned multiple times. “Incredibly discreet, super cute, make really good gifts, and they’re only $10,” says Bard. Each egg has a different rib inside, and while they’re designed to be “single use,” she says that if you regularly wash an egg with soap and water, you can definitely extend its lifespan. While it’s known as a masturbation toy, Bard says “it doesn’t have to be just a solo thing,” and that an egg can also be a lot of fun to use with a partner. “In fact, probably half our customers who buy it are females buying it for their boyfriends or partners,” she adds. Duran also loves the Tenga Egg, especially for travel: “I often say, ‘Hey, throw this in your backpack while you’re going away for the weekend, and just throw it out before you come back.’ It’s just a little treat.” (If you want to stock up, or get a few for yourself and others to give as gifts, the eggs also come in a variety pack of six inside a cute, tiny egg carton).

More expert-recommended strokers

Many men are familiar with the original Fleshlight toy. The Quickshot is constructed with the same material that made the original famous, but it’s a bit more streamlined. Finn likes the Quickshot’s open-ended design because it makes for easier cleanup, and adds that while it’s great to use on your own, it can be especially fun with a partner: “Try incorporating the Quickshot into a blow job by twirling it along the base of the shaft.”

Azmi says the Vantage model of the Fleshlight may be “more exciting for some men” because “you can see the penis through its clear half-sleeve.” Like the regular Quickshot, it has an open-ended design that makes cleanup easier, and Azmi adds that users can get the most out of either version by removing the rubber sleeve from the plastic outer ring it comes in. That way, she says, “your hands can add to the pressure of the rubber toy — instead of the plastic’s standard pressure, your hand is controlling the level of stimulation.”

Tenga Flip Zero

If you’re interested in a slightly more advanced stroker, the experts say the Tenga Flip Zero is the way to go. As Duran explains, “The great thing about the Flip Zero is that, unlike some of the other sleeves” in rigid plastic containers, this one has a flexible case that responds to touch. “It gives people the opportunity to adjust and feel their own hand strength, or their partner’s hand strength, instead of just relying on the product.” Zane is also a fan. “It has so many different grooves and ridges,” he says, so it “feels different everywhere” and can provide a wide variety of sensations. Flip sells a few different models — the Zero is the simplest — but if you want to experiment, you might consider one of its vibrating strokers, which Zane says are “completely insane.” Like the Quickshot, the Flip Zero is also designed for easy disassembly and cleaning.

Probably the most innovative stroker toy around, the Manta is very popular among those in the know. “It’s unlike any other sex toy on the market,” says Finn. “The soft, velvety silicone head is contoured to flex around the penis, and is designed with ridges along the inside of the wings that hold lubricant in place for added sensation.” Kit Richardson, buyer for The Museum of Sex and the MoSex Shop, is a big fan of the Manta as well, saying “it’s perfect if you’re looking to intensify a BJ or masturbation routine.”

This stroker — designed in collaboration with renowned adult-film star, producer, and trans advocate, Buck Angel — is made for trans men. It’s about “the same size as the Tenga Egg, but with a smaller opening,” says Duran. “It helps a lot of guys feel they’re getting the same effect of stroking or jerking off.”

Azmi recommends this stroker to all men, but especially those who can struggle to become aroused. Because of the MS Stroker’s open cuff, the pressure on the user is literally and emotionally reduced, according to her. “You want bringing sex toys in to be as seamless as possible, and this open, vibrating penis sleeve accommodates even flaccid penises, and can be adjusted to make it tighter or looser.” The vibrating plate on the Element also expertly targets the frenulum, “a hotspot of nerve endings near the head of the penis,” she adds.


Billy Procida, the host of The Manwhore Podcast, is also a fan of frenulum-targeting devices. “It’s a part of the penis that doesn’t get enough love,” he tells us. “Like Scottie Pippen, we know it’s great but not how great.” While Procida hasn’t used the Element stroker above, he told us he’s had great results with this similar product from Hot Octopuss. “It is powerful,” he says. “It felt like the world was exploding.” But, he warns, “it requires patience.” As you get more turned on, he says, “you’re going to want to stroke it,” but don’t — the device is far more effective if you don’t move it around.

Best overall prostate toy

While they might be seen as slightly more “advanced,” especially if you’re just starting out with sex toys, every expert mentioned prostate toys as something to consider. “I think men are becoming much more open to exploring that part of their bodies,” says Bard. “When we talk about prostate play here, we call it the ‘P-spot.’ The P-spot can give you a different kind of orgasm than regular ejaculation. It’s a deeper, more filling orgasm, and if you can train your body to have a prostate orgasm as well as a regular orgasm, it could be a blended orgasm that’s really kind of out of this world.”

As far as where to start with prostate toys, “the Aneros brand is synonymous with prostate massagers,” according to Duran. And for good reason: Before making adult toys, the company designed medical devices for prostate stimulation. He told us that some customers are initially skeptical about the Aneros toys, which can seem antiquated when compared to some of the more high-tech, silicone-clad options on the market. But Duran says this one “just links up perfectly, anatomically, to press the prostate.” Richardson is another fan of the Aneros brand, saying, “Whenever anyone’s looking for a beginner anal toy and they have a prostate, I gear them towards Aneros.”

More expert-recommended prostate toys

Bard’s favorite new toy is We-Vibe’s Vector. “It’s a prostate toy that has a double motor – one in the prostate part, and one underneath for the perineum [the area between testicles and butt].” The best thing about this toy, according to Bard, is that the prostate part moves. “You can adjust it to hit wherever yours is, and also use it as a G-Spot toy for vaginas.” It has an accompanying app that she recommends using with the toy because it allows you to customize the motors and hand over the controls to up to 10 people anywhere in the world.

Bard’s favorite prostate toy for beginners is the Blush Performance Plus, which has the high-grade silicone and rechargeable battery found in more advanced options, but is still simple and easily maneuverable for someone just starting out. “It’s smaller, so it’s not too intimidating.”

Finn says this slightly more-affordable one is also great for a starter prostate toy because it’s simple, affordable, and “perfect for wearing during any kind of play.” The bubbles give “an amazing anal bead-esque sensation,” and the curved shape is “perfect for targeting the prostate.” And it should be easy to clean and care for, because it also has an all-silicone construction.