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The Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Sex Therapists and Relationship Experts

So you can play them like a lyre. Photo: De Agostini/Getty Images

If you and your partner are lucky enough to spend Valentine’s Day together and in the flesh this year, a sex toy that you both can use can make for an exciting addition to the bedroom. Almost any sex toy, from a high-design vibrator to a decidedly non-vibrating dildo, can become a couples sex toy, but if you’re looking to try something totally new — or want some help mixing things up in the bedroom — there are plenty of clever, innovative sex toys designed specifically for couples. And to save you the trouble of trying out a bunch of duds, we asked eight experts to share their favorite couples sex toys, ones that are safe, easy to use, and, of course, lots of fun.

Best vibrating couples sex toys

The original couples sex toy, according to Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality and host of Sex With Emily on Sirius XM, is from We-Vibe, a Canadian company that celebrated its tenth anniversary last year. And though there have been a few different versions of their wearable, C-shape vibe over the years, their Sync is arguably the best. Morse even goes as far as to call it “the ultimate couples toy” and Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist and writer specializing in sex therapy, calls it one of her favorites, as well. The way it works is fairly straightforward. One end “can be worn internally, and then the external part would lay, if a female-bodied person’s wearing it, on the clit,” explains Carolanne Marcantonio, a licensed master social worker and sex therapist based in Brooklyn, who is also a fan of the Sync. “You could also wear it during penetration. That way, the internal part rocks up against the G-spot, and the external part gives clit stimulation.” That means you’re experiencing stimulation from penetration as well as from the toy, at essentially every possible angle. What makes the Sync especially user-friendly is that the angle of the toy is adjustable, so it bends to more comfortably fit the wearer’s shape. Plus, it can be controlled with an accompanying app, so you or your partner can adjust the settings without fiddling around with tiny buttons down there.

If the Sync seems too complicated and you’re looking to keep things simple, several of the experts we talked to suggested small vibrators with vibrations that get stronger as you squeeze them. The Minna Limon is one example, and it comes recommended by Marin. “I like the Minna Limon because it has a technology where basically all you have to do is squeeze it — so the harder and more intense you want it to vibrate, the harder you squeeze it,” she says. “It’s very intuitive — you don’t have to press a bunch of buttons or turn a dial.” Writer and sex relationship expert Shelby Sells recommends the Squish, from feminist sex toy company Unbound. The Squish is currently sold out, but works much in the same way as the Minna Limon, in that it’s just as easy to slip in between you and a partner if you want clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. “You don’t necessarily need a hand,” Sells explains. “It’s just a get-’em-where-you-fit-’em kind of thing.”

Those in long-distance relationships might want to try a toy from high-tech vibrator line Lovense, which Madeline Cooper, a clinical social worker and therapist who specializes in sexuality and relationships, recommended to us. “Both partners can buy toys and connect them to the Lovense app and then to one another’s toys,” she says. “When one partner uses their toy, the other toy can respond based on how the partner is using it and simulate the first partner’s motions.” Cooper notes that the app also has video chat accessibility, which can be used while you’re using the toys.

Sex therapist and relationship coach Cyndi Darnell told us about the We-Vibe Chorus, which, like Lovense’s products, have app-connectivity — making it another great option for those in long-distance relationships. It also comes with a squeeze-activated remote that intensifies the vibrations.

For those who prefer strictly clitoral stimulation, sex expert and intimacy coach Davia Frost tipped us off to the app-controlled We-Vibe Moxie, which she calls “the best ‘panty vibe’ on the market,” thanks to its strong magnetnic clip. The vibrator can be inserted into your underwear or underneath a pillowcase, and is held in place by a detachable magnet that attaches to the outside. “It’s a really strong magnet and I really like it because if you’re into humping and stuff like that, you can connect it to something,” Frost says. And because it connects to the We-Vibe app via Wi-Fi, your partner can adjust the vibration settings from across the room — or across the world — directly from their phone.

If you’re looking for an especially accessible couples sex toy, several of the experts we talked to suggested using a small bullet vibrator that you can hold while having sex. Carolanne Marcantonio, a licensed master social worker and sex therapist based in Brooklyn, says the We-Vibe Tango is “the smallest and strongest on the market, at just about the size of a finger.” It’s also rechargeable and waterproof, and has a small button on the bottom that lets you try eight different settings of varying intensity. “If you’re a person who needs a lot of vibration it’s great because you can put it on your clit during penetration and it’s not big and cumbersome and it won’t get in the way,” says Marcantonio. It’s versatile, too: “Anyone can use it — you can use it on the testicles, the inner thighs, nipples,” she says. “The sky’s the limit and the whole body’s covered in nerve endings, so we can really experience pleasure anywhere.”

If you prefer something that keeps your hands free, Cooper recommends Dame Product’s Eva vibrator. “Somebody with a vagina can use it either alone or with a partner,” she says. “Basically it sits on top of the clitoris and on top of the vulva and has these wings that tuck under the labia. You just press a button and it vibrates, so you don’t have to be holding something in place while you’re engaging in intercourse or other kinds of intimacy.”

If you’re intrigued by C-shape vibrators, but you’re looking for something even more flexible, Sells recommends looking into the newly released Crescendo from Mystery Vibe. “They’re marketing it as the first unisex and universal vibrator,” she explains. “It does have that phallic shape, but you can bend it an